i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
