Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
