So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
