She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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