I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
