She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
