ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
