yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize