Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
