I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
