just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
