Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
