we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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