You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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