ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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