loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
