were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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