drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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