i jhust puked up my retainher.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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