ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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