Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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