32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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