i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My room smells like vodka and shame
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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