OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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