bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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