He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
third nipple confirmed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
