We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
