Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
