OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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