we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this is an emotional support booty call
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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