Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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