Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh god the rape fog is back!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
