How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
