why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
