Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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