come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
