dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
