What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
