K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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