and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
