How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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