That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
