i may or may not be watching the land before time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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