I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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