this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
the raccoons are back...
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