He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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