Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
