but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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