my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
