Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
