It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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