Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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