I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
