you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people