possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.