i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants