So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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