Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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