I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
