Nicole vs. Life
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
