so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
