i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
