So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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