remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm too high and old for this...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
