She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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