Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
