he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed