Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
