Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
